I CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Yesterday was just full of signs for me. Things that I read or saw or heard that pushed me to think either

1. OK... I think I can do this!!
Or
2. You have to do this Kristen.

For journaling purposes, lets recount what I was spiritually fed...

I started the day off crankily getting up with Kman at 6:30. (he normally sleeps till 8.) So I popped in a movie gave him some grapes and started blog stalking (Something I don't get to do very often anymore.) Just my luck I stumbled upon this super cute blog and quickly got sucked in to reading it. She had two little boys and was expecting another boy soon. I was just skimming and BAM there was a picture of her in the hospital with an obviously lifeless baby. So then of course I had to read more. It was her little girl, the one she had been dreaming her whole life would come. She was 27 weeks pregnant and just didn't feel the baby moving anymore. One particular post soon after the event said that she longed to be pregnant still. To be growing this baby. She got to hold her dead body for about 3 hours, but She wanted to hold her more than anything and the only way to do that was for her to grow more inside her.

I realized after reading this blog that I am privileged to be able to grow this baby inside of me. It may hurt more than any other aches and pains I have ever experienced, I may not be able to do things that I normally can and my family may be suffering because of it, but what a blessing my Father in Heaven has given me to have this body and the capabilities of building and growing a new life. Why would I question that ability at this point in my pregnancy when he can so easily take it away? I should be praising him for letting her stay in there everyday that he lets her.

OK... I am already bawling, I need to collect myself, cause there is more!!! What a day huh?

So later that day, we went to church. Jared let me take a nap thank goodness after getting up so early with kman.

The youth in our stake just went on a pioneer trek this past weekend. This was something that I would have LOVED to participate in but being 9 months pregnant, it was out of the question. So obviously I am wrapped around every story I can hear so that I can soak up the feelings they had. Well, the bishop asked a few people to speak about their spiritual experiences on the trek. A lot was said, a lot of great things. But one particular adult that went on the trek said that there was one experience that was most meaningful to her. There was a women's pull, which means that the women had to pull the hand carts. The men were "taken away to war" and the women had to pull all by them self's up a huge rocky hill. Apparently it was REALLY hard. These were the handcarts... uh they look heavy. And I guess there were 24 or some carts. (I stole this photo from Leanne Larson's facebook)

This leader said that she saw strength in these Young women that she had never seen before. One young women told her later, I never thought I could do something like that. And she recounted to us that she said to that girl that she knew all along that this girl could do it, but she had to prove it to her self or she would never know it. She then said that what she learned from this experience was that we are capable of SOOOO much more than we think we are. We can do the things that God asks us to do, he will never ask us to do something that we can't. I felt like she was looking straight at me and saying, "Kristen, your pregnancy is NOTHING compared to what the pioneers had to go through... YOU CAN DO SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU CAN."

One more story... My parents and my sister were on the trek, so they came over for dinner the night they got home and told us stories. My sister Karly taking a break on the trek... couldn't you have made it look a little more difficult for the sake of my story? (I stole this picture from georgia Mertz's facebook.)

My parent are in the middle my mom in the brown dress and my dad with his neat-o home made suspenders. (he made his whole outfit from scratch, even a leather bag. He is hardcore!!) (I stole this one from Leanne Larson)

I asked if people got blisters because that was one of the big concerns. Karly then told me about this little girl in her group that took off her shoes one night and her feet were COVERED in blisters. She hadn't said one word about it. They patched her up and she trekked the whole rest of the way without one complaint. I don't know about you, but I complain about the smallest little blister on my baby toe. I would have been in the hospital camp SOO fast if I was this little girl. But she didn't say a word. Now I could learn from this that I should NEVER complain, but that isn't going to happen. But I do need to be a little more patient and humble and grateful. I need to stop and realize that my pain is not really that bad. I feel like kinda a big baby complaining about how hard I have had it, now that I have heard these stories and realized how ungrateful I have been. I am sooooo grateful to my Heavenly Father for the blessings I have received. I will praise him every day, (except the few occasional whining and complaining days that I will allow myself) for the blessings I have been given.

I CAN DO THIS... KRISTEN YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!

I want to ride my bicycle.

Kroten lusts after the neighbors bikes everyday. You should see how his eyes light up when they let him ring the bell. So when I was driving past goodwill and saw this beauty sitting outside with a big red price tag on it, I had to flip a U-turn (not really, they are illegal in Oregon.) But I did go back and buy this bike for 5 bucks. Granted the batteries to make it play its cool tunes were 10 bucks, and the stickers are all peeling off, but none the less, kman got his ride and I only spent 5 bucks.





He won't use the petals, he just scoots. So Jared had to try and show him how it's done.


The bike makes walks very pleasant for me because we have to go slow. I love it.

This is as close to a family photo as we are going to get till I loose at-least 50 pounds.



Now Kroten can ride his bike into the sunset as much as he wants... or at-least till bedtime.

on my mind today...

-There is a little piece of floss stuck in my upper permanent retainer, and it sucks.

-There is 3 weeks worth of laundry waiting to be folded. How is it that it seems like just yesterday I was so excited about the fact that every bit of laundry was clean and folded. The only dirty clothes in the house were the ones on our bodies. Then today there is three weeks worth to be folded? That isn't counting the load that is still in the dryer from two days ago.


This Kroten "helping" me fold the laundry. Yes he is wearing and stretching out a baby hat. Yes he is trying to put one of my shirts on with his feet. Yes that shirt had previously been folded.

-I am so exited for fourth of July. It is going to be a great day.

-We need a new garbage can in the kitchen.

-I am exhausted. Not just physically... purely exhausted.

-Dinner was so yummy last night. Navajo Tacos are definitely one of our favorites.


-I am fully enjoying eating deep fried scones now while it is ok to gain 5 pounds a month.


- Is the feeling of inadequacy and the constant need for validation a pregnancy hormone, or should I be worried?

-Just keep saying, I love the two year old... I love the two year old... I love the two year old!

-My back hurts.

-My house is a mess and I am too exhausted to nest.

-I want to start home preschool for kman, does anyone have any good advice or know of any good books?

-I failed miserably at making these...

Maybe I will try again?

-I really can't pick Kroten up any more. It takes all my energy just to put him on the changing table.

- We are out of spray-n-wash. What ever are we going to do?

-Why is it that when I desperately need a bobby pin there isn't one within a mile; however when I don't need one, they are over taking my house like a bad infestation of ants? To make things worse, it seems that lightning Mcqueen has been eating them. I picked up kman's car and it pooped out about 15 bobby pins.

-I know TV rots children's brains, but at this point, I dont care that we have watched "UP" twice today.

-Is it bad to wish preterm labor on myself?

-Remember to ask the doctor if he is sure that there is no baby in my love handles and thighs, there seems to be a lot of extra stuff there.

-I wish this is how it worked...


-I just want to lay down for two weeks and have someone wait on me hand and foot. Can I go on bed rest?

-My hubby is in school from 7 am to 5 pm. My mother is out of town and my best friend lives an hour away. I think I may be feeling lonely. I am pretty sure it is pregnancy hormones, but none-the-less, I still feel lonely.

-I organized all the sewing stuff, it took all day. But now I should probably sew something. I dont wanna.

-I think I am going to take a bubble bath.

-wow, 4 weeks is only 28 days!!!!

-How horrible is it that I can't stand and fold laundry for more than 15 min without feeling like I just ran a mile.

-Nap-time... mmmm!

-Other people feel this way sometimes too. Right?

wordless wednesday

Im coming out...

OK OK...

At the prodding of very encouraging friends and that "come on already" voice in my head, I am calling myself a photographer.



Does making it into a facebook page make it official? What about making a blog?

Please do not mistake my new "coming out" as me claiming to be the best photographer in the world. I am still really nervous about making any sort of claims. I need a lot of work and I need A LOT of practice. But you have to start somewhere. I am so grateful for all the people that have hired me and I am super grateful for the wonderful encouraging comments from friends.

Here goes nothing.

Happy b-day, love nana

Nana sent Kroten TWO dollars for his birthday and said that it was for M&M's, his favorite treat. I am a little scared of the red die that is packed in those little candies because k-man has had some pretty bad reactions to it, so we went to the candy store and bought special M&M's. It was super fun and K-man loved it.








THANKS NANA!!!!

K-man's big boy b-day present

Remember that Jared has been slaving away the last two months, every weekend to finish this present. We missed the deadline, but only because it was right before finals and school was a little more important at the time. So Kroten got his present two weeks late, but he didn't care.


So here it is...

Its Kroten's big boy race car bed. And he loves it.


He spent the rest of the evening jumping on it.


And now he is sound asleep in his new BIG BOY bed, no protesting.

I am a little sad that he is not in the crib anymore, but I am really ready to move on. My baby is a little boy now, and I am fine with embracing that. I love him so much.

Um... and didn't jared do an AWSOME job on the bed. I love my hubby.

wordless wednesday

"sorry ...we have been super busy lately."

I feel like I have been saying that to everyone I see. But it is true, we have been so busy the last few weeks. I feel like life will never slow down. I am excited to have this baby, so that I can lay down for a week.


We had Chinese last night!

Top was Kroten's fortune... ironic considering his recent happenings.

Middle was mine, kinda lame, so far nothing big has happened today.

Last was Jared's. Lets hope this has something to do with school! Grades come out this week. (more on school later in this post)


So for journaling purposes... what have we been up to lately?


We went camping for memorial day weekend.


We went to Utah and visited Jason and Melissa and Jamison, and his motorcycle.



And their Kitties.


Baby Girl

Is growing strong and ready to come in about a month. The ultrasound said that she is on track to be 8 1/2 pounds. Not too terribly big, but bigger than average. The tech said that she could see hair. YAY!!!! I saw her diaphragm moving which means that she is practicing her breathing. She was so cute and I can't wait to meet her.

I have never liked the 3D pictures, but when it is your own baby is is awesome.

You can see her pushing out her pouty little lips. Just like Kman she is going to have big beautiful lips.

She was opening her mouth. It was so cute, it looked like she was trying to suck her thumb. It made her seem so real. YAY, so soon.


And just a profile shot. Again look at her big beautiful lips.


Kroten
Has been enjoying the wii, maybe a little too much. He thinks tennis only exists with a remote control.



He is slowly and very casually potty training. We are not in any hurray because I am afraid of him regressing after the baby comes. Plus I would rather change a diaper than clean up a mess while dealing with a new born.

He is growing so quickly and saying so many more words. He is forming a lot of sentences. It is crazy how they grow so quickly.



ME
I have been photographing like CRAZY. I love it, but it is tiring and time consuming.


I finished editing Michell's wedding photos and will post more about that later.



I still haven't finished editing the baby pictures for ash and em, but Inst she a doll. Could you just eat her up.


Then, the next weekend I photographed another wedding. Sammy J decorated for the reception, made their cake and did all the flowers. She did a FANTASTIC job. Again, more on that later.

Lets just say after the last two weeks, I am feeling a little like the bride does in this picture.


Jared
is probably busier than us all!


He is still working on Kroten's birthday present. We wanted it done for kman's b-day, but school was getting a little stressful, so we decided that it probably could wait, so it should be done this weekend.


School is going GREAT. well, we will find out tomorrow what his grades for last semester were. But he only has one more semester before he gets his associates, and then it is on to bigger waters. We are hoping that he will get accepted to OSU for winter semester. we will see where life takes us from here.

8 months

This post is two weeks late. So now i am really 8 1/2 months. We have been SUPER busy the last couple of weeks. (more on that later) The only picture I have of me at 8 months is one while we were camping (again, more on that later)



The doctor says that the baby is still measuring big and that my blood pressure is a tiny bit high, so we are going in for an ultra sound tomorrow. Hopefully it will all be good news. I am excited to see the little girl, even though an ultra sound at 34 weeks is pretty minimal, there is not much to see when they get this big. But it is still exciting.

I have been super tired and lazy lately. I just feel so drained. I asked the doctor about it and he just said that with a two year old at home, this pregnancy is going to be a lot more tiring than the first one.

I now weigh as much as I did the day I had Kroten. Every one say Hip Hip Hooray. Ok I am just trying to make myself feel better. Actually is sucks. But what can you do? So I eat another bowl of ice cream.

It is a little weird, I haven't craved a lot of different types of food, but I definitely lean towards the sweets instead of the salty. All I really really want to eat are 100 grand candy bars. That must be why I now have 100 grand to loose after she is born. LUCKY ME!


But the only true news is that we are having this baby in 5 WEEKS!!!!!!!

wound update

He's getting these six bad boys removed today.

wordless wednesday

What a day.

I thought I was going to get some rest after photographing the wedding, but then this happened...

Kroten was playing with our friends dog. Remember that we are out of town on vacation. He must have done something really mean to the dog, becuase they had been playing all day without any complications, but it randomly barked and bit and ran away. I wasnt sure if it was bad enought to go to the ER, but I called our doctor at home and they said with a dog bite to always go in. So we did. And I had to be at the wedding reception to take pictures in less than two hours.




My Baby being admitted to the ER. Look how huge that bracelet is on his little wrist. I had to leave right after this point. I felt really bad. But honestly, I dont think I could have handled the rest of what happened.



Kroten right after being sedated. This is one of the most horrible things to see, your precious poor baby being drugged and incoherent. I felt bad for leaving, but honestly I am glad that I wasnt there for this part.



The doctor with his fishing vest on stitching up k man.


Kroten after being stictched up.


The reception got over, and I was able to be there when Kroten was waking up. He couldnt talk or hold up his head and his eyes were all over the place. It was a humbling to see him like this. It was heart breaking. When he did come around a little, he was asking for baseball and pointing to the TV, but he couldnt focus his eyes. Then all he wanted was "popcorn" which is his favorite song. He always says "one more" after I sing it and usually I cut him off after about 3 rounds, but I just couldnt, I think I may have sang it ten times while holding my poor baby.


Props to Jared. He sat in the ER waiting room for 2 hours, watched them sedate and stich our poor baby and then sat in the room with a drugged Kman for anouther 2 hours, all so I could go shoot the wedding reception. 5 hours in the ER, Jared was the hero that day. And this is all he says when I tell him he is wonderful is "I love that little boy."


And at the end of the day I realized that photographers who shoot in 90 degree weather and dont wear sunscreen are stupid.


What a day.

Whew...

I think it may have possibly, maybe, kinda went well.



Now I need a week off.

Wish me luck... PLEASE!!!

I am photographing my first wedding tomorow... did I just say that?

It will be here...



at the Provo Utah temple.

Some of you are thinking, "wait to go girl."

Some are thinking "sucks to be that couple... they should have paid someone who knows what they are doing."

And some of you are probably thinking "good luck." as sarcasticly as you could possibly think it.

I am thinking all of the above. Plus "what in the crap was I thinking."

I am really nervous, but you know what... all things are for thy good.

This is going to be great!

Why does it have to be at high noon?

I AM GOING TO ROCK THE SOCKS OFF OF PROVO WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY.

As you can see I have mixed feelings.

Wish me luck... or maybe you should pray!

wordless wednesday

Memorial Day Weekend...

...was awesome.



But were headed out of town, so it will have to wait to be posted till next week.

Expect lots of posts!!!