As you may remember, I had to have a C-section with Kroten. I have known ever since that time, that I had a fairly difficult choice to make, to section or not to section, with the second baby. Well, that time has come. It is a very difficult choice, and one that I will probably meddle over until I am laying in the hospital bed. But I am forced to visit with this decision now.
It is a really hard choice, because if I have a C-section this time, the chances of turning back with a third baby are even tougher, well, there really is little to no turning back after the second section. But I have weighed my options, talked with my doctor, and really listened to my inner self and I THINK I have come to a decision. If you would like to journey with me on my thought process, you are more than welcome to, if not, you can leave this post unread and it can go in the journal entry file for my own documentation sake.
The doctor had some very good advice for me. First off he told me that he is pro V-bac, (Vaginal birth after C-section) but that he is willing to do anything I feel comfortable with. WHEW... that was a huge relief for me. I was so worried about getting a doctor that was pushy and would make me feel horrible for whatever choice I made. He told us that there are truly only two reasons to actually do a V-bac...
1. If you would like to have a large family. (more than 4 kids)
2. If you have a desire or need to deliver vaginally. (whatever makes you feel like a real women I guess.)
He continued to give me the facts. He said that this delivery can go one of three ways...
1. I could have a fabulous labor and delivery and we all would be happy. (33% chance)
2. It could end up just like last time and result in 16 hours of labor and another C-section. (67% chance)
3. or we could just do a C-section.
He then told me that in his experience, the recovery after the C-section was much faster and more pleasant with out the laboring beforehand. He also said that you won't be as tired just after the section and seeing the baby for the first time and getting to spend time with it is so much nicer because you won't be tired from the labor part. This is excellent because with Kroten I had been up since 5 am and it was 1 am before I actually went to sleep for the first time all day. seeing my boy was fabulous, but after no sleep and being in labor all day, I was SO tired that I literally could not keep my eyes open.
He was very good to let us know that the 33% chance of a successful V-bac can be misleading and that it can be a very good experience. He was very confident in letting me know that this number should not sway me automatically to have a c-section.
Jared and I have talked about this pretty extensively and we both agree and feel good about our decision. I feel very strongly that...
1. we most likely will not have 5 kids.
2. I have NO desire and NO need to deliver a baby down stairs. I was SUPER nervous about it the first time and sort of relieved when i didn't have to do it, and I would be just as SUPER nervous about it this time. I feel like just as much of a women as any other regularly delivered women. I am proud of my scar and I am proud of what I went through. I totally have respect for the process and any women who has done it, and I would gladly do it if the circumstances were different, but I do not feel a need nor a desire to do it, especially since there are some risks involved.
3. I have recovered from a c-section before and it was not that bad, plus the week of down time is fantastic. I literally did not touch a diaper for a whole week. Bonus plus, both Jared's mom and my mom will be here so I will have plenty of hands to help me get out of bed and take care of Kroten.
4. There is no waiting game, we will schedule it, and I will know the day and time that I will get to see my new little one. Jared is particularly happy about this because the 16 hours while I labored with Kroten was "so boring" for him. (you probably cannot sense the sarcasm when I say that, but seriously, I was trying to have a baby, and he was bored... seriously?) Its OK, I still love him, and he was a great support.
If you have not come to any conclusions yet, I am leaning towards a C-section. But this all can change, and I think about it all the time. I am nervous to make such a huge decision. A decision that can change a lot of factors like how big our family will be. But I will not make this choice blindly, I will consider all the facts, and most importantly my Father in Heaven will have a HUGE impact on my choice. Like I said, this all could change 5 minutes before the baby is born.
We will have to wait and see.