my cup was filled

(Editors note: this is a journal post from a few weeks ago, so it is a little out of date, but I just had to record it for my personal "never forget" archives. )

I have had the hardest time with sundays lately. My friend wrote a blog post about how much she loves sundays, and I must say I was super jealous. I am a little ashamed to admit that for a while now it has been the worst day of the week for me, I actually dreaded it.

Between working night shift and Kroten hating nursery, it was easier to just say lets not go then to suck it up. I was spending more time comforting or entertaining a rambunctious two year old than I was thinking about the savior. Not to mention I was exhausted because I had just got off work and most sundays I still had to stay up all night and do one more shift for the week. Most sundays I felt more drained than filled.

But this sunday, I believe I had a break through. It was a wonderful sunday. Same story. I had just got off work, I still had to work that night, and Kroten still cried the whole time he was in nursery. But something was different, I have NO idea what it was except maybe a tender mercy from the lord, but I feel I especially needed this one good Sabbath day to sustain me.

It seemed all the talks and lessons were EXACTLY what I needed. It was all stuff that I have already had in my mind to start applying, but this was just a nice push to do what i already knew I needed to do. And so I dont forget, I wanted to record some of the things I learned and really want to apply in my life.

The bishop spoke in sacrament and he gave a wonderful talk about just doing our best. He told a story that particularly motivated me... During a primary program the primary children sang a song called home is... one little boy was having the hardest time remembering the words to the song. He didn't sing at all except when the line "home is" came around. And boy did he sing it. The only thing you could hear during that line was this little boys voice sing "home is" It was silly and maybe a little irreverent, but it didn't matter to the bishop. What he pointed out was that this little boy may not have known all the words, but what he did know, he gave it all he had.

I love that and it is exactly what I need to hear right now. Sometimes I get so discouraged because there are WAY to many things on my to do list, so then nothing gets done. But what the bishop said struck a cord with me. If I just give life my best and all I have everyday, I am doing fine. And it may not be perfect and it may be silly or incomplete, but my Heavenly Father will love it. Jared might think otherwise when the house isn't clean, but I know I did my best.

Another thing that struck me was more just a pound it in my head kind of thing. The Relief Society lesson was on Home and Families. It posed three question or goal prompts that I really need right now.

1. Who and what are you going to do to serve someone in your family?

2. What gospel principles are you going to strive to live better?

3. What righteous habits are you going to establish in your home?

All very relevant questions in my life. I have really been thinking about these things. I feel like i need to serve Jared better by cleaning and keeping clean the house better. I know I need to read my scripture and pray more diligently. And we have been meaning and meaning to have Family Home Evening every week. This lesson was a nice reminder after the one bishop gave that I need to work harder and give it my best.

It was wonderful to have my cup FINALLY filled. Maybe I am even looking forward to next Sunday just a little.