sometimes you need a good cry... sometimes you just need to blog.

It has been a very long, very stressful month and an equally stressful day... so right now I dont care what I should be doing, I am going to sit here, eat this mini cupcake (which is actually for kem's birthday party tomorrow) and BLOG!

ALREADY?

When Kman turned a year old, I was ready. It felt like it had been about a year. We had already bought a front facing car seat and everything. I felt like it was about time. 

But Kem is a whole different story. Are you sure it has really been a year? I feel like I just got home from the hospital. 

 My baby girl is growing up. And honestly, I am a little sad about it. 

She will ALWAYS be my baby girl. 

getting close.

She will be a walker very soon. I can't wait. 

the 4th

Jared had to work on the 4th of july, so I was left to my own for the night. I had a real personal dilema because part of me wanted to go see the big fireworks but the other part of me wanted nothing to do with packing around two tired kids at 10 at night. So I put kem to bed and Kroten and I waited till dark and we lit sparklers and threw poppers. It was fun and surprisingly relaxing. I loved hanging with my k man. 

It was a good 4th.

Oh, and I am grateful for our freedom (especially when I think about my babies.)

I really do love them...

I'm not going to lie, somedays I ask myself what would it be like if I didn't have kids? What would life be like if I had taken that internship in New York? Would I be a better photographer? Would I be happier, skinnier, healthier? Would I feel better about myself? Would I be less stressed? Would Jared have a career? 

I could go on, but it depresses me thinking about it. To sum it up... having kids is by far, hands down, no contest, the hardest thing I have EVER done in my life. It is the most taxing, time consuming, tiring, expensive job in the whole world. I have had to sacrifice more for these babies than anything else in the quarter century that I have been a live. 

Today I was thinking about how unfair it is that we (women) give SO much to have babies and then we have to be fat afterwards too. That just doesn't seem fair... and in the middle of that thought I thought this... "you have to sacrifice a lot of things to do the right things." 

Its a sacrifice, but it is the right thing... sometimes I dont like them much, but I sure do LOVE them. 

my dress

My mom gave me a box of all my old baby clothes. I am shocked that after 25 years she still had these dresses. I am also shocked at how goddy people used to dress babies, you could clothe a whole village of babies with the amount of lace that is on this dress. But she looked cute, and it was fun to put it on her. 

Oh, and I just realized that this is the same dress that I am wearing in the compare pic that I posted a few days ago. WOW, that is crazy. I guess I now have to save it for her babies.

summer means baseball.

I think the baseball games make one of my top three reasons why I like summer. (right after corn on the cob and swimming.)

I have been trying to convince Jared to play on a summer league for so long, and this summer, he finally is. I am not sure if its me or him that enjoys reliving the glory days the most. 

I love watching him play... he is really good.  

if my phone could talk... this is what it would say.

Sadly my phone went kapoot the other day. 

Thankfully just a few days ago I bluetoothed all my pictures off of it. What an awesome coincidence.