I have been so busy lately. So busy that in all honesty I wish we could just skip christmas this year. It breaks my heart to say that, but we could skip it, and I wouldn't even notice. In fact, I might be relieved.
What happened to the exciting, jolly and happy time of year that christmas used to be for me?
Kem's stocking will not be done in time, Jared and I agreed to only spend $30 on each other, and I didn't even help make the gingerbread houses. I am just not in the christmas spirit. I am so busy running around like a chicken trying to get my list crossed off that I have not only forgotten the true meaning of christmas, but I couldn't even care less about the comercialized, fun and yummy parts of the season. What is wrong with me...isn't this is the "most wonderful time of the year?"
I was driving home from a $200 dollar trip to walley-world, feeling bad about myself and christmas. I was worrying that I wasn't going to get my rain boots for christmas and wishing I had more money to buy beautiful gifts for everyone. I was hoping and praying that I could finish all my photo shoots and clean my house in time for the festivities. Then in the middle of my pessimism, something wonderful happened...
I started thinking about what this is really all about. It is about Jesus. Its about the BABY Jesus. We have been teaching Kroten about BABY Jesus (its cute, every time he sees Jesus he says BABY Jesus and MOMMY and DADDY Jesus, meaning Mary and Joseph.)
Oh what I would give to kneel at the manger and worship him. To let everything else in my hectic stressed out life go, for just one moment, and hold him tight. I picture myself right there in the stable holding the savior of the world. My gift to baby Jesus would not cost as much as the wisemen's gifts, I would make sure he is warm, and knows he is loved. I would swaddle him the way I do kem and I would sing to him the way I sing to Kroten. I would shush his crying and whisper to him how I will never be able to repay him.
I would love to comfort the baby Jesus the way he has comforted me so very many times in my life.
I wish I could do this, but I cannot. So I will hold my two rambunctious, loud, needy and beautiful baby's a little tighter, I will sing a little longer and I will tell them that I hope I can give them enough.
Who cares if kem doesn't have a stocking or if there are few presents under the tree? It doesn't matter that everything is not done, I will just hold them and that will be enough. This is what I will give to my savior, the baby Jesus, because he said, "Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."