Fresh squeezed.

Fresh squeezed lemonaid with dinner? Yes please. Thanks cousin Casey for the lemons {Straight from their back yard tree.} so cool.

6 whole years...

Jared and I are celebrating 6 years of wedded bliss (or whatever you call it) today.

There are times where I look at our life together and wish things were better or different or wish we had more or that the kids were less crazy. But then there are those quiet sweet moments that I look at him and realize that I want nothing more in this world than to live this crazy life by his side. 

I love you Jared Moss, thanks for standing by my side. 

HAPPY 6th. 

I hate being in front of the camera, but I figured, once in a while is ok, and I love him, so I want to document that. So I forced myself and forced him to stand in front of the camera, actually I ran back and forth setting the self timer, but you get the idea. 

We celebrated last night and used a gift certificate that has been burning a whole in my wallet since christmas and ate at a sushi place. I am not a seafood fan, but the chicken teriyaki was really good, and Jared was in heaven.

My bento plate... YUMMY. Jared ate my sushi for me. See, he does love me. 

Afterwars, we  had cheesecake on the butte. It was almost dark, but it was pretty romantic. 

tada!

jared finished my front door headboard and it is beautiful. I love love love it. Its so grand and big and beautiful. It really makes my room feel pretty.

this confirms it . . . I have a pretty awesome Hubby!

Food storage Friday.

I know its not Friday but I promise it was on Friday. :)

It has been one of my goals to rotate food storage a little better and I have reall wanted to cook one meal completely from food storage once a week. That has sadly not happened until finally on Friday i actually cooked from food storage and successfully {Or so i thought.} we had taco pizza complete with taco tvp instead of meat. It was really good. The only thing not from storage was the cheese. I will figure that one out later or maybe do without.

heres to food storage.

It is times like right now that I wish I had a personal journal. I just know that I would rarely write in it, and that it would get lost or just take up space that I don't have in my night stand (I know this from past experience.) So I guess I have to write here, trying not to divulge too much information, but writing enough so that I and my posterity get the message later down the road. Plus I am fairly certain only five people read my blog, so it is pretty close to personal. Right?

I think I have anxiety. I am self diagnosed, but still I think I have it. That or I am just a typical hormonal woman.

The anxiety comes in waves...

When I was eight, I would cry on the bus ride home and run to my house from the bus stop as fast as I could because I was ABSOLUTELY sure that something bad had happened to my parents. 

When I was a little older, I convinced myself that if I popped my knuckles ten more times I would keel over and die.

I was also convinced that it was possible to get sucked down the bath tub drain or into a pool vent (thanks 60 minutes)

I would lay in bed with horrible feelings inside like something terrible would happen, I was so afraid of dying that I was sure that I would not be around to wear my tooth fairy costume on Halloween when I was ten.

The feelings and anxiety went away for a really long time, I thought I had outgrown it or learned to control it. I got really good at praying when I felt bad. But alas, I got married, and a whole new set of anxiety set in. EVERY SINGLE DAY for the first year of my marriage I was afraid something would happen to Jared. I would cry on his shoulder probably once a week telling him how I was afraid he was going to die. When I was pregnant, I was sure that something would happen to the baby. We even had a plan for if we had a still birth. Now, I check on the kids in bed 3 times before I go to bed. 

So, I have not had really bad anxiety feelings for a really long time. But just recently I have had several horrible thoughts that something bad is going to happen, not necessarily now, but that I am being prepared for something sooner or later. But this time it is different. I would not say that the feeing is different or that they are more real, because they are pretty much the same things. It is my attitude that has changed. I keep thinking that if something bad happens, I will be really sad, and I just don't know if I can handle it. But now I know that my Father in Heaven knows what he is doing, has a plan, and knows my needs and feelings and thoughts WAY better than I do.

So it will be ok. 

I will be heart broken, and I am not sure how I will handle it, but for now I know it would all be ok.

"nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt" Matthew 26:39

Its begining to look a lot like summer.

And I am loving it!!!

meh... why not?

I don't normally do things like this, but I got tagged (unless there is another Kristen M) and I have been a little bit lax on the blog, so I figure, what they heck, why not. Plus its about me, and I need a little about me time.

1. Blogging. Why?

Its my journal. 

I love going back to read things that I forgot happened and am super grateful I wrote it down somewhere. 
This is my journal plain and simple, bada boom bodda bing. 

I love that a few people read it, but my blogging does not hinge on that, if you wanna comment AWESOME, if not, I am not offended, I will still continue to blog. 

2. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My will power. 

I hate that I bite my nails, I hate that I overeat, I hate that I forget to read my scriptures, I hate that I am doing a questionnaire about myself right now instead of editing a photo shoot. Hands down, I would change my will power. 

3. Chocolate or vanilla? Think about it. 

Think about it? What is there to think about? I am addicted to chocolate. Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate. 

4. What is your favorite movie genre?

Romantic comedies. I LOVE me some funny love. 

5. What/Who inspires you?

This changes depending on what I need inspiring in, but currently and the last few days...

 Tami Wilcox

She is always cheery and happy and she loves EVERYONE and she is kind and gives service and she makes you feel like a million bucks no matter who you are. I have totally been inspired by her lately.  I keep wanting to write her a note telling her how awesome I think she is, but I keep chickening out. Lame I know. 

6. The greatest lesson you have learned in the last year?

OH BOY... whew this is a hard one. I would have to say 

1. Everything has a time and a season. Its ok to not be good at everything RIGHT NOW!!

2. Listen to the Lord, his plan is WAY better than anything you can imagine for yourself. 

3. How to listen to the Lord. (still figure this one out.)

7. Gun to your head. Pick one favorite movie. Just one.

The silly and corny mormon version of Pride and Prejudice. Best... movie... ever.

8. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Please please please say that my hubby has a career and maybe we have a house and MAYBE possibly don't get your hopes too high  one more kid by then. Oh and I will be skinny. HA!

9. Dream travel spot?

anywhere without my kids. :/ maybe a really long cruise. I don't know I don't really like to travel.

10. Random fact about yourself:

I bit my tongue 90% of the way off when I was 5, the same year, I broke my jaw.

11. Favorite way to relax:

First thing i do when the kids go to bed is get on the computer. I think it blocks everything out and I can just unwind, but really if I was truly wanting to relax, it would be in a BIG bathtub. 

Now you want to do it, too right? I won't tag you in it, but if you feel so inclined, it was kind of fun. DO IT!!!

black eye.

What kind of mother am i that i let this happen to her beautiful face. Ok ok its not my fault and i am not a bad mom, i just feel really bad. Every time i look at her i see her big shiner and my heart breaks a little. It makes me feel better that when asked about her owie she points to the wrong cheek. Lol. it clearly does not hurt as bad as it looks. However, she sneezed yesterday and after she sneezed she grabbed her bruised eye brow. It was super cute. Poor baby. :(

oh. . . I forgot to mention how it happened. She pulled the sewing machine off the desk and it fell on top of her. It was holding up a piece of fabric which i left hanging down at her level hence the guilt i feel. :( could have been worse. A prayer of thanks from this mama was offered.

A work in progress.

almost done with my front door head board. So excited. It is looking so good. Soon my bedroom will look vintage fabulous. Now i just need to do something about my lamps.

a mess of fun.

equal parts corn starch and water. The hours of entertainment is totally worth the mess.

I am pretty sure heaven will have piles of really soft oversized stuffed animals that we can just lay in and eat endless samples of toast and cheese. I am starting to think heaven will be a lot like Costco.

Monkey.

Went to the bank the other day and opened a savings account for Kem. They gave her this monkey which she won't put down. She is going through a stuffed animal phase right now. I love her.

I love moments like this. K man refuses to say his own prayers but insists to help her say hers. Maybe something is sinking in?