my heart is sad.

I was already having a bad day, muddling about feeling bad for myself and how none of my pants fit and the house is a mess and how so and so is a better photographer or has better hair or... you get the idea.

It was a pity day, and no one stands in my way on one of those days.

Then I read on face book about a friend of mine that past away in her sleep. She was young, and a mom. I was not super close to her, but I had interacted enough with her that I could still hear her voice when I found the news. I can still see her face and I can still remember the very last time that I saw her.

She was pregnant and had a heart condition. Her last doctors appointment was apparently very positive. The saddest part is that she left behind a husband and a beautiful three year old. I cannot help but let my heart reach out to them and let my mind wonder how horrible that would be. What would my own little family do if I died. Needless to say, my heart is sad, VERY heavy and sad.

I am not going to lie, I am sad, and angry and I even asked WHY? a few times. She was an AMAZING mother and one of the nicest people I have ever met. She was so GOOD, and the world needs good. Why would our Father in Heaven take something so good from this world that is so filled with bad. I cannot answer those questions, but I found SOME peace in the fact that our Heavenly Father knows what he is doing, there is a plan and he doesn't take someone in their sleep unless he meant to. 

1 corinthians 15:55 "O Death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

I believe this scripture with all my heart...We believe that because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, death should have no sting. We should be happy for our friends who pass on to live with their Father in Heaven... But I cannot help but feel sadness and fear. I have faith, but I also have fear, I thought that was not possible, maybe I just don't have enough faith?

My heart is sad.