I CAN DO IT!!!!!!

Yesterday was just full of signs for me. Things that I read or saw or heard that pushed me to think either

1. OK... I think I can do this!!
Or
2. You have to do this Kristen.

For journaling purposes, lets recount what I was spiritually fed...

I started the day off crankily getting up with Kman at 6:30. (he normally sleeps till 8.) So I popped in a movie gave him some grapes and started blog stalking (Something I don't get to do very often anymore.) Just my luck I stumbled upon this super cute blog and quickly got sucked in to reading it. She had two little boys and was expecting another boy soon. I was just skimming and BAM there was a picture of her in the hospital with an obviously lifeless baby. So then of course I had to read more. It was her little girl, the one she had been dreaming her whole life would come. She was 27 weeks pregnant and just didn't feel the baby moving anymore. One particular post soon after the event said that she longed to be pregnant still. To be growing this baby. She got to hold her dead body for about 3 hours, but She wanted to hold her more than anything and the only way to do that was for her to grow more inside her.

I realized after reading this blog that I am privileged to be able to grow this baby inside of me. It may hurt more than any other aches and pains I have ever experienced, I may not be able to do things that I normally can and my family may be suffering because of it, but what a blessing my Father in Heaven has given me to have this body and the capabilities of building and growing a new life. Why would I question that ability at this point in my pregnancy when he can so easily take it away? I should be praising him for letting her stay in there everyday that he lets her.

OK... I am already bawling, I need to collect myself, cause there is more!!! What a day huh?

So later that day, we went to church. Jared let me take a nap thank goodness after getting up so early with kman.

The youth in our stake just went on a pioneer trek this past weekend. This was something that I would have LOVED to participate in but being 9 months pregnant, it was out of the question. So obviously I am wrapped around every story I can hear so that I can soak up the feelings they had. Well, the bishop asked a few people to speak about their spiritual experiences on the trek. A lot was said, a lot of great things. But one particular adult that went on the trek said that there was one experience that was most meaningful to her. There was a women's pull, which means that the women had to pull the hand carts. The men were "taken away to war" and the women had to pull all by them self's up a huge rocky hill. Apparently it was REALLY hard. These were the handcarts... uh they look heavy. And I guess there were 24 or some carts. (I stole this photo from Leanne Larson's facebook)

This leader said that she saw strength in these Young women that she had never seen before. One young women told her later, I never thought I could do something like that. And she recounted to us that she said to that girl that she knew all along that this girl could do it, but she had to prove it to her self or she would never know it. She then said that what she learned from this experience was that we are capable of SOOOO much more than we think we are. We can do the things that God asks us to do, he will never ask us to do something that we can't. I felt like she was looking straight at me and saying, "Kristen, your pregnancy is NOTHING compared to what the pioneers had to go through... YOU CAN DO SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU CAN."

One more story... My parents and my sister were on the trek, so they came over for dinner the night they got home and told us stories. My sister Karly taking a break on the trek... couldn't you have made it look a little more difficult for the sake of my story? (I stole this picture from georgia Mertz's facebook.)

My parent are in the middle my mom in the brown dress and my dad with his neat-o home made suspenders. (he made his whole outfit from scratch, even a leather bag. He is hardcore!!) (I stole this one from Leanne Larson)

I asked if people got blisters because that was one of the big concerns. Karly then told me about this little girl in her group that took off her shoes one night and her feet were COVERED in blisters. She hadn't said one word about it. They patched her up and she trekked the whole rest of the way without one complaint. I don't know about you, but I complain about the smallest little blister on my baby toe. I would have been in the hospital camp SOO fast if I was this little girl. But she didn't say a word. Now I could learn from this that I should NEVER complain, but that isn't going to happen. But I do need to be a little more patient and humble and grateful. I need to stop and realize that my pain is not really that bad. I feel like kinda a big baby complaining about how hard I have had it, now that I have heard these stories and realized how ungrateful I have been. I am sooooo grateful to my Heavenly Father for the blessings I have received. I will praise him every day, (except the few occasional whining and complaining days that I will allow myself) for the blessings I have been given.

I CAN DO THIS... KRISTEN YOU HAVE TO DO THIS!!!!